Reciprocal Tariffs and Spanakopita: A Very Ugly American Take
Welcome to AnUglyAmerican.com!
I’m your host, The Ugly American, and today we’re diving deep—real deep—into the wild world of reciprocal tariffs.
You tax us?
We tax you.
You slap a 25% tariff on us?
Boom—25% right back at you.
You charge us 5%?
Fine, we’ll charge you 5%—maybe even 6%, just for the paperwork.
Honestly, it’s not a bad idea when you think about it. Why should we be the ones getting squeezed every time we try to import or export something? It’s like a game of global ping-pong, except we’re the only ones sweating.
Let’s face it—America’s been the nice guy for too long. We try to play fair, but it’s never been even. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time we flipped the table.
Here’s a revolutionary idea:
Why not just rewrite the tax code in one day? Boom. Done. No committees, no commissions, no 500-page bills written in lawyerese. Just one solid day of real change. That way, all those companies relying on foreign parts and pieces—well, they’ll figure it out. Or they won’t. Either way, we get our point across.
Because sometimes diplomacy is just a fancy word for stalling.
You want negotiations? You want to sit down with the Europeans? Good luck.
• Ever tried to negotiate with a Greek? They’re too busy eating spanakopita and chasing it down with a plate of souvlaki.
• Talk to the Italians? Forget it. They’re always on vacation—always. Even when they’re not, they are. And if they do show up, they’re yelling, waving their hands, talking over each other, and somehow you end up agreeing to buy a Vespa you didn’t want in the first place.
So here’s our solution: Just tax them all.
Nice and simple. No translators, no trade delegations, no five-day summits in a castle somewhere in Bavaria.
Just reciprocal tariffs and a little American common sense.
