Panama, Canals, and a Shameless Plea for Your Bucks
Welcome to D Ugly American.com! The place where you get the most bang for your buck—except today, I’m begging you to take some of those bucks and buy the Ugly American token already. Seriously, I’m not asking. I’m pleading. Help a guy out!
Now that we’ve got the begging out of the way, let’s talk about today’s topic: Panama. Or maybe it’s Guatemala. Honestly, I don’t know. All I know is this cigar I’m holding came from somewhere. Definitely not Jersey.
Trump, the Panama Canal, and “Who Needs Another Canal?”
Word on the street is that Trump’s got his eye on the Panama Canal. Does he want to buy it? Rent it? Build a hotel next to it? Who knows! All we know is, he’s saying it’s ours. Because, you know, the canal is apparently up for grabs like it’s a Monopoly property.
But let’s pause for a second. What are we going to do with another canal? Seriously. We’ve got plenty of canals already. Ever been to Canal Street? That’s one fancy canal if you ask me. So why fight for more? Are we starting a collection? Is it like Pokémon—gotta catch ’em all?
The Big Canal Conundrum
Here’s the real question: do we need the Panama Canal? Sure, it’s an engineering marvel, a lifeline for global trade, blah blah blah. But in true Ugly American fashion, let’s keep it real. Most of us don’t even know where it is, and we’re too busy binge-watching Netflix to care.
Maybe Trump’s onto something, though. After all, we don’t own much these days. Why not add a giant waterway to the inventory? Put a big, gaudy gold sign on it, and boom—instant landmark!
Shameless Plug Break
Speaking of owning things, why not own the Ugly American token? No, this isn’t financial advice. It’s desperation advice. I’m not being paid for this plug, and nobody’s given me a dime. But you can fix that by visiting D Ugly American.com and buying the token.
Final Thoughts
In conclusion: Panama, canals, cigars—I’ve got no opinion. But hey, if you do, let me know, because I’m just here trying to make it through another day, one laugh and one token at a time.
Now go buy the token, because if this blog can’t make you laugh, at least it can guilt you into helping a guy out. Cheers!
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